Tone Matching: What Is It, Who Uses It, and Why?

Have you ever texted your friend to share exciting news and been disappointed when they responded with a lackluster “Oh, cool.”? Or maybe you’ve written to your bank’s customer service department about a severe mistake on your credit card statement and felt irritated when you received an overly chipper message in return.

In each of these scenarios, the tone of the responses you received didn’t effectively tone match. Tone matching is the practice of adjusting your tone when responding to someone to acknowledge their feelings and show that you’re here to help. It’s a tactic often employed by people like customer service representatives and healthcare professionals.

Tone matching is an excellent way to demonstrate empathy and show people that you care. It can not only positively shape how someone feels about you, but also—if you’re writing in a professional context—how they feel about your company or organization overall. That’s powerful!

After all, tone conveys attitude and can leave a strong emotional impression. When tone matching, start by considering the other person’s emotional state and expectations.

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Identifying Emotion and Tone in Writing

In person, you can usually rely on visual cues like body language and gestures to get a sense of how someone might be feeling. Similarly, you can pay attention to the pitch of someone’s voice or words they emphasize when speaking on the phone. But in writing, it can sometimes be harder to identify someone’s emotional state—especially when you don’t have much information.

Familiarizing yourself with how words can trigger specific emotions and paying close attention to indicators like punctuation and subtle differences in word choice can help. Don’t forget to take cultural norms into account either, since they can significantly influence how tone is perceived.

Once you have a sense of what someone’s feeling, it’s time to tone match and develop an appropriate response based on the context of the conversation. Although there’s positive intent behind the frequently-cited phrase “treat others the way you’d like to be treated,” it isn’t actually the most empathetic practice. After all, not everyone will react to something the same way you would!

Instead, try to use the concrete clues left in someone’s message—like the specific word choice, punctuation, or any emoji used—to guide you as much as possible. To the best of your ability, put the other person at the forefront and think of how you could best meet their needs. Depending on the situation, you may also need to read between the lines of a message. Sometimes what’s left unsaid can be even more important.

Let’s dive into some examples of tone matching from Grammarly’s own Twitter account.

Tone Matching vs. Tone Mirroring

Keep in mind that tone matching doesn’t always mean mirroring someone’s tone exactly. For example, it’s usually best to avoid matching anger with anger, frustration with frustration, and worry with worry. In these cases, responding in kind can often make the situation worse and lead to negative experiences.

Hi, Rachel. Thanks for reaching out and sorry to hear things don’t seem to be working properly. Could you please let us know your email address through a DM? We would like to connect you with our support team, who can help investigate this issue.

— Grammarly (@Grammarly) April 12, 2019

In the situation above, someone was concerned about a serious issue. One clue that helps indicate the underlying emotion here is the emoji used, which suggests dismay.

In response, we’d want to communicate the next steps to address this issue as well as reassure this person to show that we take the issue seriously. That’s why a somewhat formal tone feels more appropriate than an extremely positive or casual one, which could come off as flippant.

Reading Between The Lines

In many situations, however, tone mirroring can be perfectly appropriate and even appreciated.

We didn’t mean to bread-shame you, Lianne. Keep doing what you want, especially when it comes to bread! pic.twitter.com/VDwe4hNPra

— Grammarly (@Grammarly) March 23, 2019

At first glance, the situation above could seem delicate—after all, this is a complaint. But reading the message more closely suggests this person doesn’t actually take this situation too seriously. The word choice appears more neutral than angry, and the gif conveys cheekiness rather than frustration.

Tone matching here by mirroring the playfulness of the original message creates a fun opportunity to connect on a more informal level and acknowledge feedback in a lighthearted and positive way.

Some people may find that they’re naturals when it comes to tone matching and can do it without even thinking, while others may have a harder time. The good news is that tone matching is a skill that can be developed and honed! So if you do find it initially difficult, don’t worry. With practice, you might be surprised at how quickly you can improve the quality of your interactions with others.

The post Tone Matching: What Is It, Who Uses It, and Why? appeared first on Grammarly Blog.

from Grammarly Blog
https://www.grammarly.com/blog/tone-matching/

How to Set Boundaries With Your Boss

Not everyone who steps into a managerial role possesses the skills and insights needed to lead an effective team. Rather, many bosses end up in their role as a result of their technical skills and expertise in a certain domain. When individual contributors step into leadership roles without the required foundational skills, members of their team can often find themselves dealing with an ill-equipped manager. If you find yourself dealing with a problematic manager, consider creating boundaries in the following ways:

When they micromanage…

Dealing with a micromanager is never a good feeling, especially for those seeking autonomy in their work. If you’re dealing with a manager who refuses to loosen their grip, create boundaries between by reducing the opportunities for them to intervene.

If you have a project you’re working on, rather than asking them how and when to execute a task, do the work, and update them on it later. If you know that they tend to overpower you in meetings, consider setting the meeting yourself, and always come prepared with an agenda that will allow you to lead the conversation. Consider only providing updates to them when absolutely needed. It is also important to let your boss know exactly how you enjoy being managed, as they may be totally unaware of your working style.

When they don’t respect working hours…

There are many industries that don’t allow you to ever “turn off.” With the ease of technology, we are expected to fire off emails at all hours of the day. However, if you’re not in the business of billing your hours, then it is up to you to create firm boundaries between what you are willing to accept when it comes to your time commitments outside of working hours.

If a boss constantly calls you outside of your working hours, simply don’t respond. You’re not obliged to answer their calls, nor are you obliged to answer their emails. While this may seem scary, you will set the tone for how your boss treats you. If you have a client that’s calling you late at night, simply follow up with a text or email letting them know when it’s appropriate to call.

If you find yourself in a situation where your working hours are constantly being abused, it is up to you to set your own boundaries and say no.

When they are unreasonable with their asks…

Your manager might assign you something larger than you can handle as an act of good faith in your abilities, or even as a stretch assignment. Self-awareness, in this case, is important—you don’t want to turn down work that could help you grow, but also don’t want to set yourself up for failure. If you’re constantly being asked to do work that is out of scope, let your manager know you’re feeling ill-prepared and would appreciate some help or further training.

When they are unprofessional…

Some people prefer to have a close personal relationship with their teams, which is perfectly okay! However, if you prefer to keep the relationship professional and your boss insists on getting personal, you may have to create some boundaries between you both. Do your best not to share personal information while at work. Steer clear of conversations about friends, family, and relationships. Don’t socialize more than you need and simply keep your focus on task-related conversations.

When they are rude or abrasive…

You may find yourself in a situation where your manager is just not nice. Don’t try and be rude back, rather keep your distance, and detach from the relationship as much as possible. Keep your conversations short and minimal and focus on the work. Remind yourself that you won’t have this boss forever, and if need be, explore the potential of switching teams completely if things get bad.

Knowing what is most important to you at work and being clear on your own personal values is the first step in developing boundaries with you and your boss. Be honest and specific with the people around you about how you’re feeling and what your expectations look like.

As you work with different characters and personality styles across your career, you’ll face the reality that you just won’t click with every boss. In fact, it’s almost guaranteed that you’ll work with some people who make you cringe, and you’ll have to complete work that is below you. However, when boundaries are crossed, it’s up to you to set the tone between you, your leaders, and your team.

The post How to Set Boundaries With Your Boss appeared first on Grammarly Blog.

from Grammarly Blog
https://www.grammarly.com/blog/boss-boundaries/

Watch Your Tone! A Tone in Writing Quiz

“It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it!”

If you’ve ever thought about improving your writing, you’ve probably heard this phrase at one point or another. You may have also used to it to explain your reaction to a message, comment, or email from a friend. But what does it mean? What is the “how you say it” referring to?

Of course, the “how” could be referring to basic mechanics, conciseness, or your level of formality. But if you’ve sent a message and received an unexpected emotional response from the person on the end, it’s likely the “how” refers to your tone. 

As we’ve mentioned in previous articles, tone is the attitude of your writing. It only works if you and the person you’re writing to have a shared understanding of the emotions underneath certain words and phrases. This “reading between the lines” allows you to communicate subtle emotional cues without needing to dedicate space to stating your feelings explicitly.

Tone is nuanced, culturally specific, and can be difficult to master. But there are a few common tone markers that are relatively constant across groups of people writing in English. Can you spot them all? Take this quiz to see how well your tone senses are working, and check your answers at the end, teen magazine-style. And if you don’t agree with a question—let us know! We want to hear what our readers think about emotions, tone, and choosing the right words to convey what you mean.

Question 1: Which word in this message communicates joy?

“Great job! Your delightful presentation this morning was a masterpiece.“

A. Delightful
B. Great
C. Job
D. Masterpiece
E. All of the above

Question 2: Do these sentences show that the writer trusts you?

“I know you can do this. You’re so great at your job!“

A. Yes, if they’re being sincere.
B. No, it doesn’t.
C. I can’t tell.

Question 3: How do you know this person is angry?

“How dare you steal our dog, you lying scoundrel. I need to get Rufus back immediately, or there will be serious consequences, Ronald!”

A. They said “you stole”
B. They called their recipient a “lying scoundrel”
C. They said “immediately”
D. They mentioned “serious consequences”
E. All of the above

Question 4: Which word in this sentence shows that this person is afraid?

“I worry that this mistake will destroy my credibility.“

A. Worry
B. Mistake
C. Destroy
D. A and B
E. A and C

Question 5: Which word in this sentence shows more disgust?

“I despise the ground you walk on.“

A. Ground
B. Despise
C. Neither word communicates disgust

Question 6: Does this email communicate excitement or sadness?

“Hi, Tatiana! Welcome to Grammarly! We can’t wait to have you on the team. Excited to work together!“

A. Excitement
B. Sadness
C. A little bit of both

Correct Answers:
1.E. All of these words indicate joy, happiness, and delight.
2.A. Saying that they “know” something indicates this person is confident.
3.B. The insult in this sentence indicates anger, rather than sadness or fear.
4.E. The word “worry” shows this person is feeling worried, and the verb “destroy” indicates fear as well.
5.A. “Despise” is a strong indicator of disgust.
6.A. The combination of exclamation points and several positive words shows that this person is excited, not sad.

The post Watch Your Tone! A Tone in Writing Quiz appeared first on Grammarly Blog.

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https://www.grammarly.com/blog/watch-your-tone-a-tone-in-writing-quiz/

What’s the Difference Between Tone and Voice?

How many times did you hear the phrase “tone and voice” in English class? You thought you didn’t need it, but now you’ve sent an email to your coworker that was supposed to be professional but apparently came across as passive-aggressive, or texted a friend with congratulations that read dry and unfeeling, or sent an email to your boss about a project and use just one too many exclamation points.

“Tone and voice” can be easy to mix up, especially when they’re said together so often. They’re distinct ideas, but they both point to the same thing: your way of expressing yourself. Unlike spelling, grammar, and punctuation, tone and voice have to do with how you express what you’re saying—not the accuracy of the rules.

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Speaking voice, writing voice

Think about the way people in your life speak. There’s something to the cadence of your mom’s voice when she greets you on the phone, the way your best friend uses big adjectives to describe small things, the consistent way the barista at your local coffee shop says “Good morning!”

These unmistakable style quirks are called voice when applied to writing. Your writing voice can consist of words you do or don’t use when you write, turns of phrase you’re fond of, the way you write a sentence, or the way you structure an argument—your voice is the fingerprint you leave on your writing so that someone can identify it as yours.

A company’s voice consists of the aspects of the brand that don’t change. This could be words or phrases the company should never use, or characteristics it always has, like “witty” or “friendly.” Think of how you associate with companies on social media, and you’ll get the idea.

You can write in your own voice, or you can adopt someone else’s—if you’re writing a press release at work, you’re likely to use the straightforward, businesslike voice that one would associate with a company. But on your personal blog, the voice you write with could be witty, informal, and totally your own.

Watch your tone

Now, think about different situations in which you’ve had to interact with people. How do you know when they’re annoyed? Eye rolls, short responses, visible disinterest, attempts to leave the conversation. Maybe they’ll inflect what they say so you can tell they’re being sarcastic.

These signs are more subtle, and they’re subtle when translated to writing, too. Signs of tone in writing can be translated in word choice, punctuation, even emojis.

Think about the phrase “Let’s talk soon.” How do these two read?

“Let’s talk soon.”

“Let’s talk soon! :)”

The first one reads more serious and urgent, and the second one reads much more playful and fun.

For a deep dive on tone, check out our explainer on what tone is and how to use it.

Finding your voice

Even if you only ever write for work, you have your own distinctive writing voice. Your emails, tweets, and texts all give the people you communicate with an idea of who you are.

There are several ways to hone your voice. If you just want to develop a writing voice, try keeping a journal and writing a page per day. Pick a topic and write about it until you fill up the page, not allowing yourself to second-guess the words you put down. Doing this every day will keep your mind used to expressing thoughts in writing, and eventually, you’ll find the sentence structures, words, and expressions that make your writing yours.

If you’re trying to be more aware of your voice, try reading your emails and texts out loud before you send them. They should sound as natural to say as they do to read. This will take some practice—you may find that when you read your own writing out loud, it sounds stilted or you run out of breath trying to read long sentences. When you run across these situations, think about how you’d convey the same information if you were talking, and try to write it that way instead (minus the ums and ahs, of course).

Honing your tone

If you find yourself wondering how your message comes across to others, try writing messages in many different ways, experimenting with punctuation, sentence structure, and word choice, and read them out loud, imagining to yourself how you’d read these messages if you received them.

You can also check out our explainer for advice on how to write in a way that’s both direct and compassionate.

The post What’s the Difference Between Tone and Voice? appeared first on Grammarly Blog.

from Grammarly Blog
https://www.grammarly.com/blog/tone-and-voice/

6 Ways to Build Confidence at Work

Whether you’re starting in a new role or facing challenges in your current one, everyone has moments where they might question their abilities. Building your confidence at work can go a long way to helping you be successful in your job.

It’s also the difference between career advancement and stagnation. If you show confidence in your everyday work, you’re more likely to achieve acknowledgment from your manager. This will put you in better stead for a promotion or increased responsibilities.

What’s more, being confident at work can have a positive effect on your colleagues, allowing you to build your working relationships both in and out of the office. This makes for a better all-around working experience.

So, here are six ways to build your confidence at work.

1. Ask questions

An inquisitive employee is usually one that learns the fastest. If you’re unsure about something, whether simple or complex, just ask questions. You’ll spend far less time asking questions than trying to figure it out on your own.

This is a sure-fire way for you to get to know the way the company operates. Growing comfortable with the company culture is very important and can help you to integrate with your colleagues. Alongside this, it shows your boss that you’re keen to understand how the work you’re doing impacts the wider business. Just remember, there’s no such thing as a silly question!

2. Focus on your strengths

Everybody has strengths in the workplace. Whether yours is copywriting, creating financial reports, or delivering a sales pitch, focus on it. You probably had to work hard to become great at those things in the first place.

Succeeding at the things you are good at will give you the confidence to attempt other tasks that you haven’t had much experience in or that require skills you aren’t comfortable using. Instead, consider ways in which you can develop in these areas to help build your confidence in completing them.

What’s more, if a colleague is struggling with a certain task you’re proficient at, offer to lend a hand. Teaching someone a skill can give you confidence and when the time comes, you can ask for them to return the favor by helping you.

3. Talk to your colleagues

Whether you’re socializing or discussing a task you’re working on together, talking to your colleagues is an excellent way to build relationships in the workplace. It’s easy to be friendly—make sure to greet your co-workers each morning and ask questions to get to know the people you’re working alongside every day.

Forging friendships at work is crucial, not just socially, but mentally as well. You’re far more likely to enjoy getting out of bed in the morning if you get on with your colleagues. In turn, working with people you like will help you to feel more comfortable and confident at work.

4. Stay organized

Staying organized is imperative. If you manage your workflow effectively throughout the week, you’ll be organized, prepared, and confident to overcome any task.

The best way to achieve this is by writing lists. A daily and weekly list of your tasks will help you organize them by priority, where you can also delegate more time to the tasks that you’re not 100% comfortable with. Knowing how your day will pan out each morning will give you confidence that you won’t be overwhelmed with your workload. Just ensure to make a few moments now and then to take a break and socialize with colleagues.

5. Don’t procrastinate

On top of staying organized, it’s equally important to avoid procrastinating your tasks. You will never gain confidence in completing a certain task if you always put it off. Address it head-on and if you struggle, don’t be afraid to ask for help. You never learn unless you try!

6. Build a relationship with your boss

Not only can building a relationship with your manager lead to growing confidence, but it can also increase your chances of career advancement. Every little detail will add up, so constant communication is key.

You’re far more likely to enjoy your role and feel confident in your job security if you have a good working relationship with your supervisor.

Stay engaged, organized and face your tasks head-on. And as a result, your confidence will grow as you get more proficient at your job.

Setting out a daily plan is an excellent way to stay on top of your work-load and avoid procrastination. Don’t forget to build relationships and friendships in your workplace with colleagues and managers, and have fun working hard to make a difference in your company.

The post 6 Ways to Build Confidence at Work appeared first on Grammarly Blog.

from Grammarly Blog
https://www.grammarly.com/blog/6-ways-to-build-confidence-at-work/

Watch Your Tone! A Tone in Writing Quiz

“It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it!”

If you’ve ever thought about improving your writing, you’ve probably heard this phrase at one point or another. You may have also used to it to explain your reaction to a message, comment, or email from a friend. But what does it mean? What is the “how you say it” referring to?

Of course, the “how” could be referring to basic mechanics, conciseness, or your level of formality. But if you’ve sent a message and received an unexpected emotional response from the person on the end, it’s likely the “how” refers to your tone. 

As we’ve mentioned in previous articles, tone is the attitude of your writing. It only works if you and the person you’re writing to have a shared understanding of the emotions underneath certain words and phrases. This “reading between the lines” allows you to communicate subtle emotional cues without needing to dedicate space to stating your feelings explicitly.

Tone is nuanced, culturally specific, and can be difficult to master. But there are a few common tone markers that are relatively constant across groups of people writing in English. Can you spot them all? Take this quiz to see how well your tone senses are working, and check your answers at the end, teen magazine-style. And if you don’t agree with a question—let us know! We want to hear what our readers think about emotions, tone, and choosing the right words to convey what you mean.

Question 1: Which word in this message communicates joy?

“Great job! Your delightful presentation this morning was a masterpiece.“

A. Delightful
B. Great
C. Job
D. Masterpiece
E. All of the above

Question 2: Do these sentences show that the writer trusts you?

“I know you can do this. You’re so great at your job!“

A. Yes, if they’re being sincere.
B. No, it doesn’t.
C. I can’t tell.

Question 3: How do you know this person is angry?

“How dare you steal our dog, you lying scoundrel. I need to get Rufus back immediately, or there will be serious consequences, Ronald!”

A. They said “you stole”
B. They called their recipient a “lying scoundrel”
C. They said “immediately”
D. They mentioned “serious consequences”
E. All of the above

Question 4: Which word in this sentence shows that this person is afraid?

“I worry that this mistake will destroy my credibility.“

A. Worry
B. Mistake
C. Destroy
D. A and B
E. A and C

Question 5: Which word in this sentence shows more disgust?

“I despise the ground you walk on.“

A. Ground
B. Despise
C. Neither word communicates disgust

Question 6: Does this email communicate excitement or sadness?

“Hi, Tatiana! Welcome to Grammarly! We can’t wait to have you on the team. Excited to work together!“

A. Excitement
B. Sadness
C. A little bit of both

Correct Answers:
1.E. All of these words indicate joy, happiness, and delight.
2.A. Saying that they “know” something indicates this person is confident.
3.B. The insult in this sentence indicates anger, rather than sadness or fear.
4.E. The word “worry” shows this person is feeling worried, and the verb “destroy” indicates fear as well.
5.A. “Despise” is a strong indicator of disgust.
6.A. The combination of exclamation points and several positive words shows that this person is excited, not sad.

The post Watch Your Tone! A Tone in Writing Quiz appeared first on Grammarly Blog.

from Grammarly Blog
https://www.grammarly.com/blog/tone-quiz/

Effective Communication in an Always-on World: a Recap of Grammarly’s 10-Year Anniversary Panel

In honor of Grammarly’s 10th anniversary, we held a panel discussion about the role technology plays in our communication today. Together, panelists shared personal stories and offered insightful advice on navigating today’s complex, always-on world.

I spoke on the panel alongside David Rosenberg from GIPHY, Anna Soellner from Reddit, and Amanda Atkins from Slack. Katherine Boyle from General Catalyst guided us through a lively conversation about the many ways tech helps us connect, what it means to live in an on-demand world, and ultimately, how to find balance in effective communication.

We interact in so many different ways today, often instantaneously. And while GIPHY, Grammarly, Reddit, and Slack all approach communication in their own unique ways, the common thread we discovered was that, quite simply, people want to be understood.

We had a lot to say, and I’ve highlighted a few points that really spoke to me:

Building Clear and Confident Communication

Over the last ten years, a myriad of new communication channels have emerged, and the volume of writing has increased with them. At Grammarly, we focus on the substance and not on the methods by which we communicate. Instead of adding to the growing list of channels, we’re excited about helping people reach their goals, connect with others, and express themselves in ways that help them be understood by their audiences.  

Building Inclusivity

Amanda Atkins, director of internal communications at Slack, shared how more voices and perspectives can be heard with the speed and collaborative nature of Slack. Interactions that once took place around the watercooler can now happen online, reaching across teams at work and to unique individuals across communities. This type of communication also allows concerns or issues to be elevated more visibly and fixed more immediately. Employees have the opportunity to learn much more about their coworkers, workplace, and the world around them — both in a physical workspace and distributed workforce — than ever before.

Building Trust

Trust is critical to how we learn and communicate, and building trust in-person is very different from how we do so online. Anna Soellner, director of communications at Reddit, elaborated on how the company relies on user trust for its communities to thrive. By setting their own community standards, moderators have the power to determine what their culture is going to be. Establishing this autonomy and self-regulation allows members to interact freely without oversight from Reddit unless deemed absolutely necessary.

Building Responsible AI

As a research scientist, I’m very emphatic about the notion that artificial intelligence is only as reliable as the data set it’s trained on. While we continue to develop better algorithms, we can’t ignore the importance of human guidance and intervention. David Rosenberg, head of business development at GIPHY, discussed the challenging battle between algorithmic ranking and human editorial content when it comes to indexing a vast catalog of visual media. There is a layer of complexity that comes with assigning words to images and it becomes even more complex when you have to rank them in search. Algorithms can be continuously improved and trained, but for now, there is still a need for human editors to suss out meaning that accounts for tone, emotion, and even cultural sensitivity from images.

Effective communication, in all its forms, can build community, empower the voiceless and bridge the gaps between us. As Grammarly celebrates ten years in the world of digital communication, we look forward to another decade of progress!

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from Grammarly Blog
https://www.grammarly.com/blog/grammarly-communication-panel/